Firsts

Oooh oooh oooho my FIRST tagging by @mummylawyer. To write about firsts. I need to calm down a little and think. And then think of someone else to tag. Eeek.

First kiss
On holiday by the pinball machines aged 14. He was younger, and Belgian. A kind of young, blond, Richard Gere. I had impressed him with my willingness to write out the lyrics to Simple Mind's "Don't you forget about me" and he repaid me with my first kiss. I gave away my amateur status when he had to tell me to "ouvre ta bouche".

First guy I (should have) slept with
Another holiday romance. He was ANCIENT (23 to my 16), and Dutch. And just totally lovely and grown up and sophisticated. He smelled of Ralph Lauren "Polo". I was all set to get cracking on the blow up bed in his tent when I got my freaking period. I was so upset I cried.

And in my mind it would have been exponentially more magical than my actual first time. Which was an anticlimax whichever way you look at it.

First time I fainted
The one (and so far only) time I got a tattoo I passed out. I was living in Japan, fancying myself as a bit of a thrash metal chick hanging out with guys who had a band, doing a bit of stagediving and the like. So I thought a tattoo was just what was called for. The tattoist was American, huge, bald and a touch extreme in his views about other races. Ironic, in that he was abroad learning how to do beautiful "yakuza" style work. Anyway, Japanese flats are generally one room and very small. The wall mounted heater was on and I had to stand very still while he transferred the pattern to my back. And try not to breathe too deeply. You can guess the rest. The needle hadn't even come near my skin yet and I passed out.

First time I left home
I took a holiday waitressing job at a small family run hotel on Deeside. I had to work split shifts 6 days out of 7 for the princely sum of £60 a week plus board. Except not on my day off. I had to feed myself then. The owner didn't seem to like me very much, although I was probably a pretty crappy waitress which didn't help. My mum was sure it would be character building before I went away to university. Hmm. I was pretty miserable most of the time, my boyfriend chucked me and I would get drunk listening to Peter Gabriel and crying.

First video I ever rented
For my sister's birthday, my parents rented a video recorder and some movies. I KNOW... rented a VCR! It's like the dark ages. She chose some rubbish Mickey Mouse film, my parents got "On Golden Pond" and I picked "Bladerunner". I have never been able to boot it out of my top 5 films since. A 20 year love affair. My OH refuses to watch it with me because even though I am no longer allowed to recite the dialogue he says he knows I'm "doing it in my head".

My first word
"Tree". My mum had and still has weight issues. She put on a lot of weight when pregnant with me and was referred to a dietician who told her it would be months and months before she lost all the weight. And never one for being told stuff she determined to show this rude cow just how wrong she was. So after I was born, socially isolated and possibly postnatally depressed, she walked and walked and walked the streets for HOURS. And the streets round where she lived were pretty treelined. I suppose I should be glad it wasn't "lampost" or "bookies".

So now I have to tag someone else.... more excitement!

Oh, I don't know how to do that. Hang on...

@mycuntrymanor (she's spiky and funny and the best kind of rude girl. Much better than Rhianna)
@himupnorth (for his kindness in the face of my Twitter numptiness)