Who's your favourite?

I knew it was only a matter of time before one of them accused me of favouritism. Properly. I've joked about it before.

"Why is he getting to go on the computer?"
"Because I love him the most of course."
"Muuuuum."

This was different. This was serious. "It's obvious who your favourite is. You NEVER tell him off. You're ALWAYS telling me off and telling me what to do and not letting me do stuff."

I didn't think joking was the way out of this one.

So I said that I honestly didn't have a favourite child, as really I don't. But that his behaviour today was my favourite.

When I peed on those sticks I could never have imagined that this lay ahead. That I would be so exasperated by whining and arguing and general obstructiveness that I would really really struggle to keep myself from shouting "Just shut the f**k up" in the supermarket freezer aisle.

I see and read and hear lots of new parents wading through baby illness and not sleeping and not eating or being able to get a pee in a potty. And I do remember how hard those days were. But I miss them! They seemed to be such straightforward problems in comparison to this...

I feel defeated by my children, exasperated, dessicated....drained of all calm and reason and logic. How could I have created such pig-headed stubborn arsey kids. My friends used to compliment me on my calm and grace under toddler pressure. Hah! I obviously used up my share by the time they turned 5.

Yes, I know I want my kids to be independent and assertive and able to make their own decisions in the face of peer pressure. But can't they just do what they're bloody told in the house?! (Oh, and if it's not too greedy.... the swimming pool and the supermarket).