Dirty Dozen

Better late than never right? As expected, my flirtation with Twitter and blogging cooled off over the last 10 days as I realised:
- I wasn't getting much done
- I was "meeting" some really interesting, inspiring, funny people but I was forgetting about some of the "real" people around me who tick those boxes too
- I had to do some proper PAID work
- and I was totally cream crackered

But because I have been tagged so rarely I feel honour bound to reply to my tagger http://jbmumofone.com/

1. Favourite book?

The Stand by Stephen King. I read this as a teenager and it is the book I return to again and again. I frequently have apocaplytic dreams- living in a world post bomb/ war/ plague. It may have its roots in watching "Threads" as a teen. This book was so epic in its story arc and the wealth of well fleshed out characters. I love Stephen King and am amazed at the scope of his writing- so many great movies have been based on his work. The Shawshank Redemption regularly tops the "best film of all time" lists, and as if that wasn't enough he writes interesting stuff about being a writer.

I liked World War Z (which I read because Brad was filming a movie version in Glasgow last year) and The Passage for similar reasons.

2. First famous crush?
The bass player from Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I had lots of pictures of him snipped out of my Smash Hits magazines and stuck inside my folders at school.

3. Worst film ever watched?
I love movies of all kinds and it's really rare for me to switch a movie off. Recently I watched "Skyline" and hated the last half hour.

The food and drink section:

4. Red or white?
I can't possibly choose between the two, so I suggest you come back to me with an alternative question. I've had a couple of glasses of Morse Code Shiraz tonight and have just remembered some Chablis in the fridge. I'll have both thanks.


5. Chicken or fish?
*Whispers* I find chicken a little boring. Fish is in my blood, with sailors and fishermen on both sides. I could eat it every day.


6. Still or sparkling?
Sparkling. I got to live it when I lived in Italy for a summer. I bought a Sodastream just to fizz my tap water.


The bloggity-blog section:


7. Favourite post written by you?
I enjoyed writing about shmexy cinema scenes. I puckle of people read it but noone commented. Sniff. Oh well.


8. Favourite post read in the last week?
Toss up between Motherventing and SAHDandproud. I envy their evil writing genius, way with words, humour and general superlative bloggieness. When I grow up I want to be just like them.


9. The blog you think we should ALL be following?
No, no, you can't make me choose. I WON'T.


You are nearly there. Deep breaths. The FINAL section:

10. Favourite song?
Edge of America by Duran Duran. "There's nothing left to lose, nothing to protest, learn to love your anger now, anger here is all you possess...... Welcome to the edge". I still find the lyrics quite haunting.


11. Your best joke?
"But why Mummy?" - "Because I love him more".


12. Mahahaha…..you are done!

Thank goodness. That was tough.
----------------------------------------------------

My 12 questions:

1. Movie moment that never fails to make you cry

2. Beer, wine or spirits?

3. You have to give one up- chocolate or crisps

4. Last random act of kindness someone did for you

5. Beach or pool?

6. Hairy or smooth?

7. Favourite pudding or the pudding you ate last. Sometimes you just can't pick one.

8. Least favourite body part

9. Pacino or De Niro

10. Activity, sport of hobby that you don't do any more that you really miss

11. Shouty angry or broody/ sulky

12. Tweeter who has posts you always make time for...

Hot hot hot

I'll admit it. I am a Twilight fan. But only if we're talking about Edward, not the childish, chiselled Jacob. Bella is one of my favourite female characters of late. I find her strong, likeable, flawed and I love how clumsy she is. But I digress.

I'm watching Twilight and there's a part coming up, where Edward and Bella are in her bedroom and they kiss and it gets heated and Edward forces himself off her. I find it deeply stirring... like my womb contracts. Apologies if that's TMI!

But as a film fan, it made me think about some of my other favourite shmexy (copyright @motherventing & @sahdandproud- sorry don't know who used it first) movie scenes.

Am I alone or are there movie couplings that raise your temperature?

The Big Easy
Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin- he's the slightly louche Southern detective and she's the "cold", uptight lawyer that almost melts under his touch, as his hand slips slowly up her leg.

Last of the Mohicans
Under siege by the French, due to be hanged and likely to both die on the 'morrow, Daniel Day Lewis and Madelaine Stowe see each other across the open fire and sneak off to the battlements. Skirts are raised.

The Bourne Identiy
Matt Damon has just cut, dyed and washed Franke Potente's hair. She won't let him leave the bathroom... you can almost see him trying to decide whether to let her in. And then takes his shirt off.

A History of Violence
Gosh. Viggo Mortensen. Renaissance man, poetry writer and deep thinker. And before his true background floats to the surface, he gets jiggy with his wife in a way that made me draw breath sharply.

Grosse Point Blank
As if the film wasn't cool enough with a kick ass soundtrack to match our hero's general unexpected kickassness, the highschool reunion sees the question "what would it have been like" answered.

I think I may follow this with one on "characters who should have totally got it together but didn't".

Mugathon

It's been a week of firsts and now to finish it off in style, my first Listography. Thanks to Katetakes5 for this one

http://katetakes5.blogspot.com/2012/02/listography-mugs.html

I'm calling this my "Top 5 mugs that I haven't broken yet" because the attrition rate on crockery is pretty high in this household. Usually down to emptying dishwasher with wet hands.

1. I don't normally go in for labels, but this one fits pretty well.

2. Cath Kidston. I only bought one and hid it for a week or so. Because it was a little more expensive than I would normally risk. Given my tendancy to drop things.

3. I went for coffee with a friend to a local garden centre. I wasn't going to buy anything, but this mug stopped me in my tracks. Dunoon, beautiful thin china (perfect for tea) and I love hearts. Simples.

4. I often start the day with a cup of Twinings Morning Detox tea. Lemony and bright and too delicate for a heavy mug. This was a random eBay purchase. I love these blue and white designs.

5. I had longed for a "proper" tea set for quite some time. And once I felt the children were old enough not to pose an unacceptable risk (although TBH I'm probably still more of a danger than them) my search began. And I chanced upon this beautiful pink rose tea set. What's more it was complete- 6 cups, saucers and side plates plus teapot, milk jug, sugar bowl and sandwich plate. And it was only TWENTY QUID. I feel like it was destined to be mine. And although not strictly a mug, it beautifies and uplifts me to drink from it.

Firsts

Oooh oooh oooho my FIRST tagging by @mummylawyer. To write about firsts. I need to calm down a little and think. And then think of someone else to tag. Eeek.

First kiss
On holiday by the pinball machines aged 14. He was younger, and Belgian. A kind of young, blond, Richard Gere. I had impressed him with my willingness to write out the lyrics to Simple Mind's "Don't you forget about me" and he repaid me with my first kiss. I gave away my amateur status when he had to tell me to "ouvre ta bouche".

First guy I (should have) slept with
Another holiday romance. He was ANCIENT (23 to my 16), and Dutch. And just totally lovely and grown up and sophisticated. He smelled of Ralph Lauren "Polo". I was all set to get cracking on the blow up bed in his tent when I got my freaking period. I was so upset I cried.

And in my mind it would have been exponentially more magical than my actual first time. Which was an anticlimax whichever way you look at it.

First time I fainted
The one (and so far only) time I got a tattoo I passed out. I was living in Japan, fancying myself as a bit of a thrash metal chick hanging out with guys who had a band, doing a bit of stagediving and the like. So I thought a tattoo was just what was called for. The tattoist was American, huge, bald and a touch extreme in his views about other races. Ironic, in that he was abroad learning how to do beautiful "yakuza" style work. Anyway, Japanese flats are generally one room and very small. The wall mounted heater was on and I had to stand very still while he transferred the pattern to my back. And try not to breathe too deeply. You can guess the rest. The needle hadn't even come near my skin yet and I passed out.

First time I left home
I took a holiday waitressing job at a small family run hotel on Deeside. I had to work split shifts 6 days out of 7 for the princely sum of £60 a week plus board. Except not on my day off. I had to feed myself then. The owner didn't seem to like me very much, although I was probably a pretty crappy waitress which didn't help. My mum was sure it would be character building before I went away to university. Hmm. I was pretty miserable most of the time, my boyfriend chucked me and I would get drunk listening to Peter Gabriel and crying.

First video I ever rented
For my sister's birthday, my parents rented a video recorder and some movies. I KNOW... rented a VCR! It's like the dark ages. She chose some rubbish Mickey Mouse film, my parents got "On Golden Pond" and I picked "Bladerunner". I have never been able to boot it out of my top 5 films since. A 20 year love affair. My OH refuses to watch it with me because even though I am no longer allowed to recite the dialogue he says he knows I'm "doing it in my head".

My first word
"Tree". My mum had and still has weight issues. She put on a lot of weight when pregnant with me and was referred to a dietician who told her it would be months and months before she lost all the weight. And never one for being told stuff she determined to show this rude cow just how wrong she was. So after I was born, socially isolated and possibly postnatally depressed, she walked and walked and walked the streets for HOURS. And the streets round where she lived were pretty treelined. I suppose I should be glad it wasn't "lampost" or "bookies".

So now I have to tag someone else.... more excitement!

Oh, I don't know how to do that. Hang on...

@mycuntrymanor (she's spiky and funny and the best kind of rude girl. Much better than Rhianna)
@himupnorth (for his kindness in the face of my Twitter numptiness)

Who's your favourite?

I knew it was only a matter of time before one of them accused me of favouritism. Properly. I've joked about it before.

"Why is he getting to go on the computer?"
"Because I love him the most of course."
"Muuuuum."

This was different. This was serious. "It's obvious who your favourite is. You NEVER tell him off. You're ALWAYS telling me off and telling me what to do and not letting me do stuff."

I didn't think joking was the way out of this one.

So I said that I honestly didn't have a favourite child, as really I don't. But that his behaviour today was my favourite.

When I peed on those sticks I could never have imagined that this lay ahead. That I would be so exasperated by whining and arguing and general obstructiveness that I would really really struggle to keep myself from shouting "Just shut the f**k up" in the supermarket freezer aisle.

I see and read and hear lots of new parents wading through baby illness and not sleeping and not eating or being able to get a pee in a potty. And I do remember how hard those days were. But I miss them! They seemed to be such straightforward problems in comparison to this...

I feel defeated by my children, exasperated, dessicated....drained of all calm and reason and logic. How could I have created such pig-headed stubborn arsey kids. My friends used to compliment me on my calm and grace under toddler pressure. Hah! I obviously used up my share by the time they turned 5.

Yes, I know I want my kids to be independent and assertive and able to make their own decisions in the face of peer pressure. But can't they just do what they're bloody told in the house?! (Oh, and if it's not too greedy.... the swimming pool and the supermarket).

And this week's homework is...

"Take your spelling words and turn them into a rap".

Yes, a rap. This comes hot on the heels of "Prepare a fact file about how the Inuit peoples are affected by their environment". #2 jumped straight on the PC and whistled up a lovely Powerpoint presentation in half an hour, delighted to chuck #1 off the Lego website.... "Mum says I can because this is HOMEWORK".

I'm not really sure how my 9 yo is supposed to come up with a convincing rap considering that I have yet to let mine watch The Simpsons or Fresh Prince (OK maybe a little retro) and they certainly don't get to listen to Eminem, JayZ or Wretch32 (only ACTUAL mothers should be allowed to use "mo'fo").

I used to have to LEARN my spelling words, and sometimes make them into sentences. I have a clear memory of my mother bemoaning the fact that I had been given the words "lily" AND "lilies" one week in P3 as if the teacher was deliberately torturing her. Maybe I had been a pain in the arse that week, who knows.

Despite my initial horror and reluctance to embrace these new-fangled exercises, I suppose I'm actually glad that my kids are being encouraged to think in different ways and to produce a huge range of work in different media and forms. I'm sure rapping will be ubiquitous on CVs in the future...

And here is her finished piece (spelling words underlined just so you can see how tough a challenge this was):

My voice is my instrument,
Don't tell me any different,
Rhyme n rap are my ingredients
Interrupt? You'll have an accident!
My scent, fresh like peppermint
I'm cool like a centipede,
An interesting inventor,
Check me in the interval,
This interview is over!
YO.

I wonder if I should copyright it now....  or make it into a #thursdayrap challenge.

#ispy

Ok, if I was new to Twitter and Blogging then I am totally just out of the shrinkwrap for this #ispy stuff. And "X"?!  Nothing like jumping right in at the deep end....

So, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with X.

This is where it starts.....

It has been some time since my last....

Hmm. There's the essence of me right there. 2 years between posts.


Everyone was ill a couple of weekends ago and I got sucked into Twitter. And then into Blogs. What can I say, I've always been a bit of a late developer. I have been delighted to find so many incredibly talented and creative people out there pouring forth their thoughts and the fruit of their labours. And funny.... lots of funny.

I think I'll just sit a while and maybe occasionally find something to say that will interest other people. This may take some time. But hopefully it won't take two years.